Experiências em inglês. Estória inspirada numa foto de Maria João Dias, traduzida por Sónia Oliveira. Imenso obrigado.
She was standing by the window
when I arrived. I looked at her for a while, in silence. Then I told her: “I
love you.” And I smiled, admiring how elegantly she turned to me. But the look
she gave me had no surprise or joy. She looked pensive, distant; displeased.
She didn’t smile. She said: “When you say you love me, you imprison me a little
more. Because by saying it, what you really mean is to state your desire that I
remain indefinitely as I am, so that you can keep on loving me. You want me
immutable, frozen in an eternal moment; that’s what you love, that moment. I
always thought that saying you loved someone is to deny this person the
possibility of change, don’t you agree? But I don’t want to look at someone and
feel trapped, conditioned. I want to look at someone, to look at you, and feel
free. I want you to be the mirror of my freedom, of my possibility of change. I
want you to be a window: when I look at you, I want to see a universe of
possibilities, infinite horizons, the wide limitless sky. Don’t tell me you
love me, ok? Tell me you want to be my window.” She stared at me for a while,
in silence. Still pensive, even more distant. Then she turned and contemplated
the world through the window; she forgot about me. I could have told her she
was wrong, that it was quite the opposite; explain to her that each moment I
discovered her once again, I discovered her anew, and every time I’d be blown
away; as if I was seeing her for the first time, and each first time was even
more intense, more overwhelming; explain that on each of these moments I loved
her as if for the first time. But she kept looking through the window,
interested in the infinite universes, showing no interest in me. Why should I
say anything? After all, I’d only uttered three words and everything fell
apart; a longer sentence could prove deadly. But so could silence. There was
nothing left but to escape; and that’s why I moved closer to the window.